Killing a Cat

I know someone who as a 4 year old, kicked a mean cat to death, later apologizing to the owners. This story makes people look at the ground and want to shift the subject. As I watch them shift, I feel embarrassed and responsible for their act (by not leaving it buried) and I wonder what to do to disassociate myself. Do I erase the memory, pretend it didn't happen, dismiss it's author, forgive it? I suppose in the telling, I want to pass it elsewhere, but somehow it just sits like a stone in my gut. It piles on top of things I hear every few minutes on the news or in a tragic novel or as observed in the daily toils of my acquaintances and friends.

These people are emotional, sometimes angry, sometimes bearing open wounds, often lonely, and in my interpretation, uncomfortable in the pain of enduring. I read a novel recently called The Language of Flowers, where the main character went through the Foster Care System and at 18, could not trust herself to attempt connection with anyone. You realize that there is no simple solution or right way to love the main character, Victoria and that she will always need her own coping strategies. They evolve from disappearing, to seeking shelter in her own space, knowing safe people respect and respect her distance.

I am working on a prayer that seems to be my only option at this point as I sit in the heaviness of a child's cat killing. I can't handle the heaviness and I can't get myself to do anything to fix it. So it goes to God, knowing he has figured out how to be with dark and to shine in some light, maybe a little at a time.