I meant to type up all the best of things I noted on my three days in Grand Rapids. The conversations in between might have even more meaning then those of authors, as some of the richness of life is within the translations and emotional responses we have to what is being passed in and out of our ears and mouths.
There were so many bits that brought together open discussion, deeper relating, the idea of how words become flesh through our paying attention to them. Joan Didion said, "I write to know what I think." I would add, to it, "I write to know what I think in this moment," as I am struck by how much life is about evolution our own stories through shared experiences. My relationship to Andrew is light years different then when I first met him! Each moment is no longer an attempt at finding the perfect Tiramisu, but more about lingering over an ordinary cup of Tazo Passion flavored tea (his heaped with sugar, and mine as is). The meaning is in the stopping in a place to sit and enjoy without any expectation. The meaning is that of real pleasure (or pain) or story sharing. The meaning is in existing side by side in a place in time, together."
The author I loved to listen to was Carlene Bauer. I have three copies of her book Frances and Bernard and my goal as that the words will always be in someones hands to read (never sitting idle), because the people in it are ones everyone needs to know inside themselves. Even for those who don't read, this one is love letters that will change you, so please read them!
For all that, she writes a book that I have not yet read and am sorta dreading, which is called, Not that Kind of Girl. The reason is I fear it, is that she writes about going from my faith tradition, Evangelical, to that of no organized community (I think?). How is that possible, I wonder? I get that in any organized group, people can be wrong and tell you not to question their authority, missing out on who Christ is, but as an adult, we can read through that type of behavior, right? I can take on a faith outside of or alongside another person's vision of it.
Another speaker, Miroslav Volf said that we need to be open to the faith experiences of others in order to share our perspective with them. I have wondered over this as I consider what it would feel like to listen to a Catholic Priest, to attend a Buddist service, or to say, "tell me what you believe and I will listen with the intent to understand it (not contradict it)." Part of me likes the idea of considering theres beliefs, so people will talk about anything deeper. People hardly breath that they attend something, or quickly put down church and I have to wonder why, except that I am quick to put down others, and can't even write the names of which groups, for fear of my own judgement.
On Sunday morning I considered what it would feel like to get up and pick out a random church to attend. I shamefully wondered if I would miss something or should feel more desire to hear God from my own pastor this morning. Do I go to church hungry for God to speak? I then consider my children. Would I let my kids hear about other people's beliefs?
I wonder about doing a book that would be a year of faithful exploration, across the boundaries of denomination in search of a way to have an open conversation with anyone that takes them into account. I keep making up new lists of questions. Things like:
1. What are key moments in your choices about faith, in self and/or others?
2. When have you changed your mind in a big belief?
3. Where do you look for inspiration?
4. What do you do with pain, physical or in the loss of something or someone?
5. Have you ever wanted to or explored a faith of another? Why or why not?
6. Is there a person who strikes you for having faith?
7. Where do you hope from (traditions/history) and why?
I have heard of a book called Pub Theology, the Catholic show called, What's on Tap, and I am sure there are countless others. I would be interested in finding the places of discussion or doubt, because I want to talk about God. In all honesty, I don't want to talk about fluffy bunnies that are not real, but about things that are soulful. To really misquote a friend (my therapist), "I want go deeper and will try hard to be safe, but if that's not where you are, I mean no ill-respect but I am about vulnerability and paying attention to what matters (in reality), so if you are not there, I will treat the time with you as less important (not saying you are not important, but that there is a block in our connection), because I need to be with people who want to be known." Even in writing that long and egocentric sentence, I cringe, but I also nod my head, because I feel so empty in my long conversations about the placement of an electrical box.
Carlene Bauer, Christopher Beha and others are looking at where characters can go. Characters feel safe to me, because I don't have to say, I believe or don't, giving room to explore and leave the door open to seeing through my experiences with others.
