Responsible To Whom?

For two days now I have woken up praying my prayer about order with God (see earlier post for details). I keep changing the words, stopping to consider meanings and by the end feeling like it is a lot to manage. The simple prayer might be, God may I be responsible and available to you in this moment.

I was recently introduced to a concept of being responsible to others, rather then for them, about being with them rather then trying to handle situations for another. It is helpful as I watch people's houses foreclose, struggle through child custody battles, grapple with reasons to live and attempt to manage through the clutter of tasks that buzz in our ears. The list below takes me past trying to solve for this moment and builds for an enduring relationship.

• When I feel responsible for others…I fix, protect, rescue, control, carry their feelings and generally don’t listen.
• When I am responsive to others…I listen, show empathy, encourage, confront, share and am sensitive.
• When being responsible I feel…tired, anxious, fearful, and liable.
• When being responsive I feel…relaxed, free, and self-aware.
• When being responsible I care about…circumstances, solutions, answers, and being right.
• When being responsive I care about…feelings, relating one to one, and the (other) person making it on her own.
• When being responsible I expect…the (other) person to live up to my expectations.
• When being responsive I expect…the (other) person to be responsible for themselves.
• When being responsible I am…a manipulator
• When being responsive I am…a helpful guide.

(Retrieved from: http://hatch.us.com/2012/03/02/responsible-vs-responsive/)

Christ seems to be a master at this. In Mark 9, I was reading about this boy who is demon possessed and falling on the ground rolling and foaming and convusling. Jesus asks the man for a history and hears that the boy has been like this since childhood, almost dying from fire and water. How exhausting to be always afraid for his life. The man asks Jesus, saying, "If you can do anything, take pity on on us and help us!"Jesus puts it back on the man, saying, "If you can? All things are possible to him who believes." So the man gets it and cries out saying, "I do believe; help my unbelief." Then Jesus responds and sends the demon out of the boy, commanding the demon not to enter him again. 

This act of belief, trust and seeking healing with others is my work to. It isn't that I won't act, it is just that God is central and that I have to work towards belief in his power, and not my own ability to take on a task.