On Saturday night my husband was grilling our son on spellings for words and went into the spelling of Fire vs. Fiery, and how it is spelled differently then you would expect. I jumped and disagreed with the spelling, saying it was firey, though I should know better then to question him. Andrew has won many a spelling bee and when he knows something, he can recall it with a great deal of accuracy. So he looked it up the spelling for my sake and of course was right.

I then became upset with him, because I wanted to be right and really because I had a moment of feeling the conflict of David seeing all men as intelligent and women as not (really it is my own issue). I worry sometimes that this is the modeling he is experiencing. It is what I grew up with and part of why I shut down quickly when things appear to be too complicated, too long, or include too many steps.

On the flip side, someone said to me recently that they don't experience me as unintelligent. It was a gift and one I trust and has had me thinking about whether I can believe that about myself. It makes me want to ask this question, "If i'm intelligent, then . . [what]?" I am happy to start with a blank page numbered 1 to 10 with my hand written notes beginning to delve.