As I read more of Count of Monte Cristo, I am tense about what mistake Edmond (the Count) might make in his anger. I love him and want him to be saved from his anger. I wonder if he could see himself as better off for having been in prison? He did lose everything, though. Does that mean he has lost his soul or gained it? Sigh.
There is a situation that arrises where he has the power to help another man or allow the man to be ruined (and commit suicide). I somehow can't stand the moments where you watch and fear the man will kill himself, because the Count is too slow or calculated. It makes me feel like the Count will be responsible for his death and hate himself for it. Why can't the Count just pay the bills at the start? I know faith is much more complicated then quick fixes and what he is giving the man is both his life and dignity, over charity, but what if he swooped in too late or his plan missed the desired outcome by a 5 minute window. I guess that is the tension of good literature, but it leads to this question. . .
How am I sitting with wealth or opportunity right now, knowing someone will be devastated if I do not act. How many coffee's might feed starving kids? It is it's own overwhelming dilemma. The first step for me is to do something. I have never been able to tithe 10%, so I am going to start with 2%. It sounds so pathetic, but I would rather do something then nothing. I get stuck in the bigness of how much or how little it all amounts to, but something is my sum for today. I pray I can begin to open my fists in the places God shows me.
1 comment:
I know what you mean--money is maybe the toughest thing to reconcile with the life of the artist. I keep thinking about that $1700 for a class... How do we justify spending money on ourselves when we know children are starving? How do we find that money? I'm not sure I have answers, other than ongoing faith.
Post a Comment