Writing My Own Job Description

I found that when I sat down on the laundry room floor midday yesterday, I couldn't convince myself to get up. We were set to hit a local water park in Yspilanti and I couldn't figure out how to tackle the basement stairs. Rewinding to understand how I got there, between Monday and Sunday, I flitted from community meeting, to packing for a friend, to CPR/First Aid training, to Kindergarten registration, to visitors and game nights and a weary husband, just after my last houseguest departed, I crashed.

Contrasting last week with now, I am sitting at the library, listening to trucks drive along the highway overhead and no real plan. I am struck by how calm the world feels here feel. This is the time to get perspective. In my case I am supposed to create a job description for myself that will guide me towards a healthier way of engaging, deciding, etc. I have ideas for what I want to be doing, like knowing and be known by my family, listening to friends and loving and delighting in relationships. I am convinced more and more that loyalty is critical to being free. The other one that is hardest for me, is choosing to believe God can do the work. I habitually hold onto the hard stuff of other's lives, like I did last week and their crisis created my own. Instead I want to be the person who says, "We just have to ask Jesus to do something BIG here."

So how do I change? My friend is reading a book about decision making and one thing she shared was that empathy has to be pared with judgement for a good decision to be made. I think I feel emotions around someone losing a house or having a hard time, and waver between ignoring the situation or doing the work to solve their problem and ignoring my kids, husband and other tasks. These frequent situations (almost daily) trump everything else. Or maybe they distract me from dealing with everything else. Moving someone or having inviting someone in or acting as chauffeur is easier then making a meal plan for my family, or mopping the floor.

A guy named Ian Walker has an amazing article in The Art of Manliness about why we do some things and not others, called, Self Efficacy and the Art of Doing Things . He mentions that the big task are made of a bunch of smaller ones and when each is completed it feels great. The best advice is to do things task by task and that great satisfaction can be found in doing what one sets out to do.

My wise friend mentioned above,  also mentioned that we should be loving our future selves and trying to provide for them now. This means handling today so that I will be equipped for tomorrow, rather then striving to save the world right now only to be laying on the laundry room floor the moment I sit down.

So I have a new job description to post up on my door, my window, my blog.

Job Description for Being Myself:
Available/listening to self and protecting own space for better functioning with others
Direct line to a Powerful Boss who can manage crisis (God)
Strong reliance on a calendar as a filter for booking tasks, connecting with people and ordering schedule for efficiency and balance
Communication of priorities and saying no to taking on other's jobs/priorities as if my own
Interdependence with others to manage all needs (theirs and mine)
Able to stay in each hour I have - delighting in beauty, empathizing with sorrow, laughing when appropriate, etc
Experience the world as a creative space in which to delight
Considering future needs and love the future self through dreams and provisions necessary for her to thrive

Maybe the wife, mom and friend come out of this description. I pray that I can live my roles well and work with loving intention, in the light of a compassionate God, who has a much wider view!