My pastor preached on Philippians 1 this week and hit the verse, "God can testy how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus." He then said that the word affection, translates from Greek as guts, bowels, or innards. The word, "guts," made me think about my blog, and my mission in getting at the guts of self, God and other. I would add to this a desire to experience beauty and learn how to love profoundly.
A VERY popular acquaintance of mine came over for an Insanity workout in my basement and talked about how her aggressiveness has made her successful in the most unusual sports and jobs. She is non-stop action and new starts, popularity, small business and I get overwhelmed just thinking about being in relationship with her.
As I considerer the work of loving, I'm terrified at the notion of small talk, selling my smiles, advertising my words, myself as something another would want to spend time on. Last night I dreamt I was a side character in a TV drama and I becomes stressed by how to act off camera, for fear people would dismiss met. In the dream that followed, I gave advice to a good friend who felt guilty about making super hero accessories (arm bands, and head pieces and add on patches) and hating herself for it. I told her she should listen to her gut, but also know God gave her gifts and wants her to enjoy what she loves.
I watched Sandra Aamodt's TED talk on "Resolve to Never Diet Again," and one thing she said was that there are bits in the brain that regulate eating to help us stay in a range of a weight (fluctuating 10 to 15 pounds). A second thing she said was that just like walking and reading and things we do so subconsciously, if we learn to eat as a response to hunger in a similar way, our brains are free to focus on other work.
As a part of my own faith experiment, I would like to practice elements of faith in such a way that they become muscle memories, to allow the sitting down with God to be less of a struggle so that I can be natural in my living in Christ.
Three actions in my Faith Project are these:
1. Have a list of people to follow in matters of faith, whose voices resonate with guts, beauty, quiet and/or living truthfully in culture: Berne Brown, Marilyn Robinson and Jill Peraez Baumgaertner. Read and look up what is current in their thinking and work.
2. Examine the reasons I believe in God, through stories and reflection on my faith.
3. Memorize verses/prayers that express my hopes/goals in identifying with Christ.
(plus the one mentioned in my prior blog post)
*I can check off each day the work I do and consider its effects at the end of the month.
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