Yes, it's that time again. The time to settle into reengaging with my inner-child, artist self. The brilliance this time as in the past is that another person suggested it and now we are forming a mini-group to work on the discipline together. Though I am not doing consistent morning pages, I do feel like I am already doing some of the work. I take occasional artist dates, signed up for a painting class, play my guitar, and sit with my therapist to contemplate listening deeper.
I skimmed the first chapter and was struck by the two things that still trip me up every day.
1. The need for a relationship with an inner child. The kid who plays and plays and is swept away in the joy of an activity. My kids really love to run, love to imagine, to read, to dance. Both express themselves often by having one arm spin in huge fast circles like a jet engine, or by jumping up and down. They can't contain their emotions. I wonder what that would look like for me? My therapist's early challenge was about drawing a picture of this child. I never did it, so maybe that is the work of this week? An image, a body to listen to that is me and also a new character to be explored.
2. The critic. The censor. The hollow disapproving mask that is always just behind me, telling me my grammar is atrocious, my words choppy, my autistic character cliche. So maybe he is going to be another really ugly face, or maybe a beautiful one that cracks in half, who knows.
So on to morning pages and trying to order and place the voices on their shelves, to be picked up when needed and let to collect dust, when they move to being records or histories of another time.
Thanks Julia Cameron for being relevant and faithful to God's creative calling over so many years and encouraging others to do the same!
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