I have been reading Mary Oliver poems because two people have mentioned that they liked her. I received her first volume of poetry several years ago as a Christmas gift from my sister-in-law. Not knowing a thing about her, I carried the purple book from house to house almost discarding it with each move. This week I found myself scouring the house to find it, as if it would instantly connect me with others who seem to like her.
Because others tell me she is good, I am reading about Goldfinches and enjoying her simple way of of watching the world. There is a sense that nature will spill open to reveal: your soul, bleeding heart, this moment, and the possibility of breaking free. I wonder if I love her for being short, readable, a distraction from other noise or because someone told me they liked her. Another friend mentioned that she was just ok and it made me wonder if she wasn't that good. How do I listen to my own thoughts and decide for myself if I should keep reading, or discard for something else?
This is the challenge with writing as well. Before even showing a word to someone I wonder how they will rate me. If they say it is good, I will wonder if they are telling the truth. If they say it is bad, I will abandon the effort. So like my post on telling the truth, I need to listen to my gut. To read on for what is to be found. Not looking at if it is good or bad, but experiencing visions that make me want to live bigger.
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