Utopian Living

I have recently compared a list of two world views to make my own brilliant point that one is clearly better, when it hit me that both are faulty. They come out of conversations about a group trying to form their own Utopia juxtaposed with my Church's Small Group. As I list them, it hits me that there is a third column that is more clearly in line with where I wish I could be!

Utopia 

- Dreaming
- Building a community, 100 to 200 hand picked people
- Self sustaining (using no resources outside community)
- Having no negative impact on environment
- Living outside of laws or restrictions
- Open relationships - everyone is a god or goddesses
- Me in control of me and my group only
- Closed loop, but with diverse people and many views

(My judgment of this:-fantasy, stuck, looses site of what is now and here, trying to quench unquenchable desire, losing sight of a larger view, once attained wanting more)

Church Small Group

- Playing nicely
- Happening in real time
- Humility/brokenness/ honesty
- Underlying trust/ desire for others good
- Awareness of sin and grace
- Telling harder stories – not happy or unhappy, but often hard
- Reality that God is in control/ - Ideally sense I can be myself around others

(My challenge heres is that I can become passive or rely too much on others for my faith.)

 A Christian Artist Friend

- Looking outside of what is seen
- Questions lead to more questions - uncertainties about what you thought you knew
- He is what people see -not pointing elsewhere as much as embodying belief
- In motion – real time/ -In control of seeing/acting/wanting
- Creating/responding actively outside of a community or inside (but not becoming the community, staying himself)
- Defining his space or being himself in relationships with others
- Seeing self as having a role to play wherever you are (though it changes with circumstances)
- Often in one on one or small group dialogues

(My fear here is that I want this view but I can't figure out how to be this way. It can be lonely and people can misunderstand and you can more easily be dismissed/rejected)

My goal is to link arms with people, like a friend who believes in healing, one working on fighting human trafficking, one who is fighting for hope amidst depression, one known as a profit. I see so much bravery around me and wish I could speak truth without fear. God give me a voice!